can someone proof read over this short essay

can someone proof read over this short essay. it needs to be 800 words-no more. footnotes in Chicago style

also could you create a title page with a title for your essay that encapsulates your argument.

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these are the guidelines:

  1. Use active voice (to explain WHO did what & why).
  2. Discuss events in chronological order.
  3. Essays are more persuasive if they have a beginning, middle, and an end.
  4. Know the difference between a descriptive statement and an analytical argument.
  5. You know you have an argument if you are answering a “how” or “why” question.
  6. Try to make connections between historical topics.
  7. If you can, try and show change over time in your writing.
  8. Don’t be deterred from discussion of historical phenomena that seem contradictory, confusing, or hotly debated! The past was just as complicated as our present is today, so our explanations of the past need to be nuanced and complex – there are seldom black and white explanations, most of history is in the grey areas and contradictions.
  9. At the beginning of your essays avoid using up valuable space on “just-getting-warmed-up-here!” kinds of sentences that either restate the essay questions without answering them OR make big, bland statements (e.g., “Human history has been shaped by animals…”) that don’t address the specific history we are asking you about. While you are writing a draft, these kinds of sentences are fine if you need to get going. But once your essay is written and you have thought things through, take the time to go back and either delete those sentences or revise them with specific detail
  10. In these short essays, you should include only very brief introductory and concluding paragraphs. Two or three sentences for each will do. Your introduction should name the historical context, topic or phenomenon, and historical actors involved; then, briefly name your argument that answers a how or why question about the that context, topic, and actors. Your conclusion should be similarly brief and remind the reader of the argument your essay has just demonstrated.

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